Hi hun....sorry for the delay in response...had to go and see my tutors yesterday.
If you have a look at this Add Friends tutorial, about halfway down there is a screenshot of the top of the page (any page) where it says Ning Your name and an envelope and a little person.
The envelope is for messages and the person for friends.
The envelope should have the word New! next to it if you have messages.
I think folk have struggled with the messaging on here, as it isn't as easy to use as it could be, to be honest, so we are probably all billy-no-mates really!!
We have asked Ning to improve the system in one of their upgrades, so hopefully it will get better soon.
Its ok hun. It doesnt appear on the members page for a little while. This confused me too when I changed my photo. I was refreshing the page madly wondering what I had done wrong when all of a sudden there it was..lol!
Has anyone ever told you that you look remarkably like Chanelle?